I was reading this newfangled contraption called the newspaper today and I happened upon what journalists refer to as "news stories". Apparently, the king of New Buckingham was accidentally killed when a shotgun was placed too near his bed and blew up his cat who was trained to reset his electronic pillminder when a mad bomber accidentally knocked it over. Unfortunately, in the noontime, his pet cat loved to rest on the countertop in the kitchen, but it was being sprayed for pet cats and that is one pet cat that is too smart to fall victim to such a silly, silly plot of deceit and hatred. So, he had decided to sleep on the king's bed and found himself a victim of an even more elaborate conspiracy to destroy this small slice of New Buckingham royalty.
Sad news. . . I think.