My publicist has asked me to make another statement about my comments earlier. He/ she says that my comments of ridicule and intolerance were not only inappropriate but bad for the image of my religion and myself. I'm also sorry for calling it my religion, as it is technically the God Ryan's religion and message and I am the messenger. It is purely coincidental that I share the same name as the God of the religion. Well, it's not entirely coincidental; the God, Ryan picked me because of our similarities, which, yes, means I am partially blessed with the trait of superior coolness.

I'm sorry, I'd like to apologize for my previous statements. I lost control a little bit and I might have said that, if you don't join my religion that you'd have to suffer the consequences. And you know what, you deserve it! RYANISM is by far the greatest religion ever formed and all those who deny the faith are cretins and infidels and deserve the cruelest punishment imaginable.

It's time for some good old fashioned cultural diffusion. The new and excellent religion, RYANISM, has been recently created and is ctaching on like wildfire. The best part is, it's only $.50 to join. Granted, you have to make your way to Austin High School in El Paso, Texas just to find the guy who controls all orders of operations and claims to have spoken to the God of cool. And, yes, it's me who stakes this claim, and yes, you've discovered that Marel McCauley is in fact an alias, but it doesn't matter. Wait, you hadn't discovered that was an alias. I'll simply edit that out... and voila.
Wait, it's still there. My editing functions must be malfunctioning. Oh well!

Join RYANISM now, for $.50, or suffer the consequences!

I'm in my Chemistry class at the moment. I've found my project. It shall be the effect of coke on my teeth. The loser who did it before me found it necessary to get teeth from his dentist, but I happen to know that I have several of those right here in my mouth.