Party tip of the day: 1- Sticking small portions of feces into the punch is funny, but usually goes unappreciated for its comedic value.

Party tip of the day: 2- If you are going to put feces into the punch, I advise you to churn or mix it into a fine chalk or powder, because you will be the only one laughing any way you do it, you might as well keep yourself free from possible legal blame.

"Here you go. You see, you just have to press alt,ctrl,del if a program is no longer responding and that should take care of the problem. That's first grade stuff guys. Geez, maybe I should go do some bad standup or make base generalizations about people from Boston and pothead college students over and over again on a sketch show in the midst of a downward spiral while not keeping a straight face, EVER, and constantly having fake moustaches fall off, because my talent is obviously being wasted here." -Laugh track-
He walks out and sticks nothing back into the doorway, "By the way you're welcome!" He's Nick Berg, your company's headless guy!
What would a company need a headless guy for!
Shut up! Who let him in?

The suits up at Blogger HQ has asked me to issue this formal apology for my recent posts containing the words Nick Berg, Nick Berged, pull a Nick Berg, and, even though I didn't actually write them yet, Nickaberg Crane and Nick Berg, your company's headless guy:

We apologize for the total absence of sympathy and professionaliam used by this Blog user. We promise to have him reprimanded and be sure that he...

It goes on like that for about 3 pages. However, I will not be submitting those pages. In fact, what you have seen is all that you will see of the e-mail they sent to me. I will, however, say this:

Though I can see why a certain use of sensitivity is appropriate for such situations, I also believe that there is also such a thing as ultrasensitivity. And you know what, this is a perfect example of this.

So I want to make fun of Nick Berg and Pat Tillman because they were publicly humiliated or murdered while trying to do what they considered a noble act. Is it really any different for making fun of Osama bin-Laden or Saddam Hussein for being publicly humiliated or living in intricate systems of spider-holes and caves? The answer is yes. However, it's time to get over it. How long ago was all that crap? Two... three weeks? Fuck! Get over it already.

There are few times quite as great as summer. Lots of children running about the neighborhood pulling B&Es willy nilly, doing as they please all of the time. Ooh, it's probably the best when they pull guns on you and threaten you and all of your family and friends and pets and your right testecle. Ooh, the testecle is the best part.

If you like summer time, you'll also enjoy:
1-Being in debt to the mafia
2-Bogging down in trench warfare
3-Being Nick Berged
4-Partaking in a gang war
5-Having colon cancer
6-Living in Detroit
7-House Party
8-Making fun of firing squads
9-Eating in seedy Italian restaraunts
10-NASCAR
11-Reading my blog
12-God damn it!
13-And boot camp

Party tip of the day: 3- Dark alleyways are okay meeting places for some people, but a great deal of partygoers will be turned off by the idea, even more so, for some odd reason, if you tell them to wear soft shoes and to bring a change of clothes and not to talk when they arrive and follow all instructions that are given to them and have a duffel bag with them and a knife in case something doesn't quite fit into the duffel bag. So avoid dark alleyways.

On an unrelated note, also avoid murders and murder scenes and crime circuits. Also, street fighting competitions.

Party tip of the day: 1- Do not pull a Nick Berg on any of your guests because the other ones tend to leave. Or, at least, they have the last six times I've tried it.

#2- If you meet anyone named Nick or Nicholas or even Nicklaus check their neck and shoulder area for one of them heads before inviting them to a party.

Recently I have been told that anything with the word entertainment in the title is nothing more than a low level smut producer. And so, I would like to make the announcement that Bloggedout is officially adding thousands of pornographic photos. Hopefully, this will discourage a few more possible fans of this site. Coming next week... more stupid crap!

What in the nuts is going on around here. As though I didn't feel stupid enough about not knowing how to make additions or edit posts on my website, they've made changes to the website. How the hell I made it to this point, I have no idea. The chances of me making it any farther in the near future is not very likely. Not very likely at all.

Oh god! Stop sucking it already!

Suck it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Party tip of the day: 2- Homeade dips are cheaper than storebought, but if you aren't careful they can cause dysentery.

Party tip of the day: 1- Do not let people with the term STD in their name come to your party. Especially if your party is actually a website

I see now that there is but one answer to the pest problem my site has been recently plagued with. I have to murder STD. If I do not, he will just continue to post terrible things that make my viewer run in fear to his parents crying, 'I am such a pansy that a website made me cry and I need you to change my undies because I shit in your bed earlier and I need you to clean out my taint!'