Well, I've washed the spice back off and called my physician, hobo Bill. He gave me some medicine from his 2-in-1 medical cabinet/shoe and told me that if it hasn't healed up by Friday I should just say I'm Asian. I'm not really sure what that means, but I think it's unbridled enthusiasm. I must've forgotten to ask because of my penis being on fire, coupled with the hallucinatory properties of hobo Bill's medicine of the rail. I'll keep you updated since I'm sure you're all very excited about this recent occurrence. Blao!

It burns! Son of a bitch it burns!

Well, I've spiced it up now.

Everyday life has become excessively boring. I've decided to spice it up.

I'm not racist so much as I hate anyone based on generalizations about their particular race. You know what I mean?

Not really!

Well, fuck you too then, greasy Italian!

Oh, I get it now.

I like using words that don't mean nothing, like loopdid. Humpty Hump reference.

Shout out to my boy Vladimir! Woot. Woot.

Lots of stuff going on nowadays. Hard to decide what to talk about. So, I asked myself, what is the biggest juiciest piece of news out there these days?
I've come to the following conclusion: fuck the real news, I'm going to make something up.
Recently, in a small town in North Dakota, the first ever case of reanimation of dead human cells has broken out. Yes, our greatest fear has finally come true. Zombies walk the Earth.
George Bush, or Dubya, has decided to invade Liechtenstein in response.